Commitment

I fasted on March 14th. It was just a day I chose at random (thank you Chris Wolfe for the idea). It was a beautiful day and during lunch I went walking around Highland park (I work very close) and read my bible. I came upon a verse that I've read before but is beginning to really penetrate into my heart and mind lately. The verse is Acts 17:26-28.

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and PERHAPS reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.

Perhaps?!? God didn't have our committment before he made everything. He didn't have our committment before he sent his son Jesus to earth to die for us. He did it out of love and hope. But he took a huge chance! And there are SO many people that still haven't reached out for him and found him. I can't imagine how his heart is breaking for those. I mean he has to so badly want them to commit to him! I mean how could they not? How could I not earlier in my years? Couldn't I see the love that was poured out for me?!


So fast forward to last weekend and I found myself in a similar situation. Well, not similar in the magnitude of it, but you know what I mean. See, this past weekend I went out walking and worshipping (with my Ipod) and my mind started racing. I started thinking about the soccer team. How we don't have a very good commitment from the boys. Some days we have 12, some days we have 2, some days they focus, most days they don't. What could I do to get them to come more? What could I do to get them to realize what a privilege it is for them to be on the team and to have all the stuff we've given them for free. Would punishment (like running) work? Would taking away games work? Well, I left my mind on the trail and let it go for the rest of the weekend.


And then Monday morning, I was taking a shower (yes, that's right) and the Lord spoke to me. And just to clarify, when the Lord speaks to me, it's just a thought in my mind...I've never heard his resounding voice. That would definitely help with the doubt and second guessing of my thoughts. But anyways, he said to me, "What makes you think you have to make them commit? I didn't wait until you committed to me before I died on the cross." Yep, hit me pretty hard. And I was reminded of the verse I had read during my fast.


God created me out of love. Jesus died for me out of love. I have to live my life out of love - not out of what the end result might be or the success I might have with what I'm doing or any of that. I'd been thinking of ways to get them to commit like 'If less than half the team comes to practice, I will cancel the next game. Or we will run the next practice.' But is that really how you make someone commit? I know these boys need discipline and tough love but is that the way to do it?


What if Jesus was like that. What if I didn't commit to him the first time I learned about him, he punished me. Now I know we put punishment on ourselves through our own sinful ways but Jesus doesn't do that to us - we do it to ourselves.


Everything isn't clear but I'm constantly asking for wisdom and guidance in prayer. And right now I have a peace and a passion of just doing it. Of just going like the Lord needs me to go and coaching the ones that show up and having fun and loving on them no matter if there are 2 or 10 there. I don't think my job is to make them commit. My job is to love them regardless. To keep showing up. To keep serving. To not give up. My job is to love them like Christ loves us. 

And ps, this is just one of the pictures my sister took on the beach at sunset in the Gulf during our wedding weekend. It's incredible. God is incredible. And my sister's work on this pic isn't half bad either ;)