The Babies are Here!!

Last summer it was wedding season. This summer it's baby season!

Hogan's best man, Chris Wolfe and his wife Carrie had their first baby about 2 weeks ago. They actually didn't want to know the gender until she gave birth so it was such a fun surprise to them and everyone when they delivered a precious baby boy - Ethan Mark Wolfe! We took dinner to them this past weekend and got to see and hold this precious boy all night. Hogan was quite hilarious. The minute he got Ethan in his arms, he started laying out all this advice, or maybe it was more like commands, especially when he started telling him that he will go to Auburn, lol. While Chris is a Auburn fan, Carrie loves LSU, so we'll see what happens there. Here is Hogan holding Ethan during their talk...

I absolutely loved Ethan's bottom quivering lip - it was so cute. He was actually awake the entire time we got to hold him so it was so fun to watch his expressions and his eyes just looking around. I hate I didn't get more pictures of Ethan but I'm sure we'll be visiting them again soon.

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Exactly 2 weeks after Carrie and Chris had Ethan, Liz and Jared had their first! Liz is my pre-marriage roomie and one of my best friends and I still can't believe she is a mommy now!! We went up to the hospital last night to bring food and visit with them and see their precious baby boy - Jacob Ryce Mattioli!



We were so fortunate that he was awake during our visit as well. He has a head full of hair and is so cute! I still can't get over how animated these newborns are. I've never held this "new" of a newborn (1 day old) but I guess I thought they'd just lay there with their eyes closed. Jacob was very animated in his facial expressions and his eyes were wide open at us most of the time. I'm not very good at picking out who the baby looks like (especially this early on) but I definitely see Liz in little Jacob - at least for now!

All the glory goes to God for these adorable, healthy baby boys. They are His and I can't wait to see them grow up through the years.



Craft Attempt

The only reason I'm posting these pictures is because I said I would, whether it turned out good or bad. Well unfortunately, the attempts landed mostly on bad. But here goes...

Craft #1 - Spraypainted mason jars/containers

1. I used a clear container in our bathroom that holds my hair-ties as the guinea pig.

2. I used puffy paint and wrote words like fun and love and carefree on the sides of the container. I then used white spray paint to coat the outside of the container.

Why this failed:

1. The spray paint cracked in spots. I was supposed to use matte spraypaint - the store only had flat, which has to be the same darn thing. I even waited until the storms came through and the humidity was low to spraypaint it outside.

2. I liked it better clear. But maybe it's just because it's on a white countertop. I dunno.  

Craft #2 - Tiered Jewelry Holder

The purpose of this craft was to organize some of my jewelry in a fun way. While I keep my key pieces of jewelry out, the rest of my jewelry gets thrown in a box on my dresser to the point where I forget what other options I even have.

I bought a fun plate at Anthro. I bought a cheap glass candlestick at Walmart. I used a gluegun to connect the holder to the bottom of the plate which would display my jewelry.

Why this somewhat failed:

1. My intention was to do a tier using 2 plates with the candlestick holder in the middle. I didn't like the 1st plate being on the ground so I wanted to elevate it. I only had one candlestick holder though and so didn't have anything else to make 2 tiers with my smaller plate.

2. I think the purpose of being crafty is to make things cheaper than you can buy them. Rather than stumbling upon a fun plate at a thrift store or something, I just bought them at Anthro.

I do like it better than my box though so I guess something good did come out of my craft afternoon. 

Even though the crafts didn't turn out exactly how I had hoped, I'm just glad I tried it. So often I get ideas in my head but I never even get the supplies, let alone attempt them. So it's a start at least!    



A Dependence Like None Other

I met one of my precious friends at Starbucks the other day during my lunch break. And p.s., thank you Morgan for the suggestion to try the lunch at Starbucks because while it was rather expensive, the turkey and swiss sandwich was very fresh and yummy!

I am always so encouraged from getting together with this friend. I can't really explain it but put simply, the conversation is
so transparent,
so pure, and
so uplifting.

I'm always so excited to meet and so encouraged when I leave. Her and her husband are newlyweds and depending on the Lord's provision in every area, I mean EVERY area of their life. They don't know where their next paycheck will come from and they don't have a lot of the luxuries you and I have right now (even though sadly most of us don't even view these as luxuries). But they are passionate about what they are doing. They are walking down the path God is leading them on and while it's fun, it's also really hard. They literally have to wake up every day and pray together and trust God together for how he's going to provide that day.

Of course I trust the Lord with my life. Of course I know he is my Provider. Of course I am in relationship with him. Of course I spend time in intimate prayer.

But do I find myself leaning on him like that??

Being completely honest...No...at least not right now. I'm not in a "hard time" right now and while I talk to Jesus and hand over my life to him on a daily basis, I don't have to cry out to him with tear-filled eyes declaring his promise that he will provide and take care of me today, that things will be ok. I know things can change in a moment, but for now, I know when my next paycheck is coming and how much it will be. I don't worry about going out to eat at lunch or dinner. That's just not what my life looks like right now.

Is it strange to want that though? Because I do.

And that's a scary thing to want. But it's not the hard time I want, it's the intimacy with the Lord I want. I've been through hard seasons in my life and there is absolutely nothing like crying out to God with all you have and NEEDING him like you've never needed him before. I told my friend that her and her husband are getting something that the average marriage isn't - time together on a daily basis praying and crying out to God. That's huge. It sets a foundation they will have for the rest of their lives. It's intimate. It's an amazing blessing.

I want that intimate dependence on God too.

Those beautiful moments where you feel so close to him.

Most of the time though I find that you reach that closeness when you are going through hard times. Whatever those hard times are in your life right now, I encourage you to focus on the blessing of intimacy you get to have with Jesus. Because you won't be in that tough time for long. And you will get to know your Jesus better than you ever have before. Coming from a girl that isn't going through anything incredibly tough right now, I miss it. I miss that intimacy and that closeness that I think you experience through those tough times.

Psalm 34:18

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Off with the Old

Colossians 3:5-11 talks about taking off your old self and putting on your new self. Learn to know your Creator and become like him. Put to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature. You get the point.

When I re-commited by life to Christ, I felt I had done this. I was done with the old and now had my new life. So I'm done right? Wrong.

I've learned and am still learning that there are always more things we can take off. Some pop up out of nowhere, others have been there a while. A lot of times these things aren't even a big deal in our eyes. They aren't what we think of as big sins - if there is such a thing - a sin is a sin. Some may not even be sins at all. The Lord is constantly showing us what these things are if we only pay attention. And it's an amazing feeling to see yourself growing in the Lord when you do recognize these things to take off and then actually take them off.

So what does that look like in my life? Here are a couple things I've taken off recently...

Hogan and I just have a few favorite shows. If our tv is on, it's usually on the Food Network which is hilarious if you know my cooking habits. But I enjoy it, maybe because it's one of the few clean channels you can watch on tv these days. Who knows. We also enjoy The Amazing Race. Sure there are some others we will watch every now and then but for the most part this sums it up.

Well recently, we were flipping through the channels one night and came across the season premiere of The Bachelorette. I used to watch this back in the day and maybe none other than it's humorous and there was nothing else on, we stopped to watch. Well once you watch one show, why not keep up with it so we set our DVR to record future episodes. I was laying around at home a weekend or two later and tried to watch one of the recorded shows.

And I couldn't.

I started it, watched about 5 minutes, and stopped it. Sure, I could have probably sat there and watched it and laughed and pulled for my favorites to get a rose, but nothing in me wanted to. I felt icky. I felt like it was a waste of time. And I recognized the danger in that show. While I want noone else but my husband and I love who I am in Christ and the life he's blessed me with, that show lets the spirit of comparison come in. She is so pretty or those guys are so cute or the vacations they get to go on are so amazing...

it's dangerous!

That's not real life nor is it even something I want, but it cracks the door for those thoughts to come in. Obviously each person is different so if you can watch a show like that with a guarded heart, then that's awesome! I just can't. But I love that the Lord showed me I can't and why I can't and then I actually stopped it. That desire is no longer in me. I have taken it off.

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A completely different example is that I decided not to go to a small group on Thursday nights this summer. Thursday is the only weeknight Hogan and I could have to ourselves this summer...to cook dinner, to watch a show, to go for a walk, etc. We were both fine with the idea of a full week at first but I made the decision to not go. I can easily burn the candle at both ends and exhaust myself. But more than that, our marriage is my top priority after God. I want to invest in it. I want to enjoy time during the week with my husband. The Lord is showing me how to take off "busyness" and the way I can easily fill a schedule and replace it with rest and becoming the wife the Lord has called me to be to Hogan.

The Lord is changing my heart and I'm loving these new desires he's putting within me. Off with the old and on with the new!

A Gift of Holiness

I'm really getting a lot out of this book I'm reading for my online book club, The Fitting Room. In case you missed my earlier post (These Days), the book is based off of Colossians 3:12. Below I've shared a few key things I've learned from the past couple of chapters...

FIRST, Holiness is a gift. Have you realized that? If I'm honest, while I may know it is, I don't think I've lived like it is. We try to be holy. We try to put on the virtues in order to be holy. But that's WRONG! It's not about trying, it's about receiving. 

Justification/holiness is a gift that I receive once I accept Jesus into my life because of what He did on the cross. Through Jesus Christ, God has made me righteous in his sight.

Luke 18:9-14...The Pharisee did everything "right." He fasted, he tithed, he didn't do bad things - he believed he could achieve righteousness through his own goodness. The Tax Collector realized it is a gift soley from God and went home justified.

I think it's good to be reminded of this every now and then. We know that good works don't get us to heaven, but do we truly realize that we are holy simply because of what Jesus did for us and nothing else?? I know I don't all the time, but beginning to more and more. I'm praying, "Lord, thank you for the gift of holiness. Thank you that I'm holy because of you and I don't have to try to be holy."

Holiness means to be set apart. Not perfect, just set apart for his purposes. Which makes sense. Once we receive this gift of holiness (receive Jesus into our life), he can now use us for his purpose. But we don't accept Jesus into our life and then try to be holy so he can use us. We can't get it backwards.

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SECOND, the third part of understanding in this verse (chosen, holy, loved) is that we are loved. But not just loved. Dearly loved. We throw around the word love all the time these days. I know I do at least...

I love my family,
I love my friends,
I love running,
I love chocolate,
I love the beach,
and on and on and on.

But I also love God and know how much he loves me. I'd been convicted for using love for everything I describe (including His love) but then I realized God's love for us isn't just love like we use in our English language. Like Paul says, we are dearly loved. We are beloved. This is agape love - the love that led Christ to undergo suffering and death for us. The English language doesn't have a word to describe that so we continue to use love, but I just need to make sure I realize the vast difference between how God loves us and how we love all the things we love on earth. It doesn't even compare.

The book describes that when we are confident we are loved, the list of virtues becomes less chores and more delights we are eager to embody. Eager?? Are we really eager to ask for patience?? Maybe not but it's not an eagerness to put on patience, it's an eagerness to be more like Jesus Christ, to see him show up in a situation. When I think about it that way, bring on whatever virtue I need, because I definitely want to be more like Christ.

Striving also ceases to exist when we accept this unconditional love. When we are able to rest in who we are and the fact that God loves us no matter what, we no longer have to strive. We don't have to strive in ministry, we don't have to strive to be better, we just don't...we can rest in who God has made us and where he has placed us right now.

So those are just a few take-aways from my book right now. I'm loving this book club thing. It keeps me accountable even though I have noone to account to. I'm having so much fun doing it and learning so much. I hope you are enjoying a good book this summer too. Please let me know if you've read or are reading any good ones that I, or others, might like as well. 

Can you say stubborn?

Before Hogan and I were engaged, I had heard great things about pre-marital counseling at our church that you received from one of the pastors. We had several friends who got married the spring before we did and who had received this counseling and all loved it! We were definitely excited for this once our own engagement happened later that year in July.

But Highlands changed the way they did things right after we got engaged. Instead of doing one on one counseling with a pastor, it was now in a small group format. Your leaders were a seasoned married couple and the small group consisted of you and your fiance along with about 3 other couples. When we heard this was the new way of doing it, our hearts sank. We were expecting the same thing all of our friends and others had received. We were even already discussing which pastor we'd like to do ours. We felt cheated. We were about to be the guinea pigs in this new way of counseling and we didn't like that feeling, especially since pre-marital counseling is so vital to getting ready for marriage.

Hogan and I are both stubborn people and we weren't going to let this happen without a fight, or we'll say "attempt" to get the pastoral counseling we were so excited about. You can maybe guess where this is going but let's just say for now, God knew what we needed and we're so thankful he pushed through our stubbornness.

So like I said, we attempted to get out of this small group. We played along with the beginning process all the while looking for an out. We were at a friend's wedding shortly after and ended up talking with the pastor that married them, who I know very well too. He hadn't really heard about this new small group counseling yet so of course volunteered to council us. TA-DA! This was our out. So I wrote the lady that coordinates everything to tell her. I even went back and found the email I wrote (note that I've taken the names out). It's quite humorous looking back at now...

Hi _____. 
I wanted to talk to you about something. I know Pastor _______ really well and we ended up talking to him this past weekend at a wedding we were all at. We were just talking to him in general about our wedding and how everything was going and he told us that he would be more than happy to do our counseling for us if we didn't have somebody already. We hadn't approached him before obviously because of the small group counseling we were planning on doing. After talking to him though and discussing it further, we actually would love to do some one on one counseling with him. We're also going to be getting some additional counseling from our pastor that is marrying us, so with the two of them, we weren't sure we really wanted to cram our schedule with the small group counseling as well (plus, it might just overlap what we would talk about with _____).

Do you think this would be ok to do instead of the small group counseling? And if so, I think Pastor _____ would need our assessment information so was hoping that you could pass that along to him.
Thanks so much and please let me know your thoughts on everything. 

I don't think I saved the email that I got back but basically it was a no. Not a mean no, but a "I really think this small group would be good for y'all." So we finally gave in. While we are stubborn to an extent, we aren't ones to keep pushing when the door is clearly shut and we are being led a different way. So we went to the small group. And we loved it. We learned so much, had so much fun, and now have some of the best friends/mentors we could ask for. The couple that led our group, Lisa and Jason, have become great friends and mentors to us. They have a beautiful marriage, a beautiful family, and we just love hanging out with them. Pre-marital counseling only lasted 6 weeks but we have continued to stay in touch with them. Just last night we went to dinner with them. I always get so excited to hang out with them. We always have a great time but more than that, they truly care about our marriage. They ask us how things are going. They dig into our lives. They give us wisdom. They relate to us. They encourage us. They've inspired us too. Who knows what the Lord has planned but we would hopefully love to be leading some of these pre-marital groups one day. I get such a tickle when I think back about how hard we unknowingly tried to prevent this friendship from taking place.

I'm so thankful that the Lord kept the door shut to what we wanted and continued to steer us to what we needed and what would bless us tremendously. I know the Lord continues to do this in every aspect of our lives and our marriage. He does it to you too. If doors are continuously being shut, maybe try the other way, the way that you're sure isn't for you. Who knows, but it very well could be what you actually need and end up loving.

These Days

Summer is here. I'm relaxed. Life is good and we are having a lot of fun these days. I thought I'd share just a few fun things going on in my life right now...
Hogan and I started playing soccer on Monday nights. A group of people we know through church play at the church every Monday night - they've been doing this for around 3 years - now that's commitment. I don't know why I haven't started before now but it's a blast, especially playing with Hogan. Hogan hasn't played much soccer but he's really good and I love that he wants to do this with me. Now our bodies are telling us differently but I'm loving this new weekly activity of ours.

I've also started going to Zumba. This is not the "latin" Zumba; it's more hip hop based which I can handle much better. I'm really enjoying it. It's such a great workout and so much fun to shake my booty with some girlfriends. It makes for a pretty good laugh too and I always come home in such a joyful mood :)

While we long to live in a house, the apartment life does have some perks...including the pool! It's so nice to be able to stroll up to the pool on the weekend especially in this heat we are experiencing right now.

Since I started blogging, I have also started following numerous other blogs. One such blog is http://www.incourage.me/. It's fantastic! They have several women writers as well as guest writers that blog everyday. All of the women are strong Christian ladies and write some amazing posts. Well through this blog, I'm doing an online book club. The book is called, The Fitting Room, by Kelly Minter. Every couple of days they post a new video and blog to discuss the chapter(s) read. I love this concept! And the book is great so far. It is based off of Colossians 3:12:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 

We are only in the 3rd chapter, but I've already learned so much from this verse. You see, clothing ourselves in these virtues doesn't make God love us. Since God ALREADY loves us, we GET to wear these clothes of virtue. It's not a list of do's. We aren't supposed to try harder to attain these. Once we realize we are chosen, holy, and loved, we get to dress like what we already are. A lot of revelation there and I'm sure lots more to come.

I'm also hoping to join a girl's small group through our church in the next week. Some things came up for this week but hoping for next. Hogan, meanwhile, has started meeting with a few friends of his every Monday morning as a small group. A different person each week brings something to talk about (specific scripture/story/thought). They also just meet to encourage each other and have "guy" time. Hogan says guys don't have "guy" time but that's what I'm calling it. I mean let's be honest, that's what it is.

And if you didn't read my last post, I am attempting to embrace the creativity I know I have deep down. I came across this craft today on a blog and plan on doing this...soon!

 http://pureandnoble.blogspot.com/2011/06/reduce-reuse-recycle-repeat-mason-jars.html

I think I'm going to go with some fun bright colors - maybe yellow or green or blue. We will see how this turns out but I promise to post once I've completed something - whether good or bad!

Hope you are enjoying your summer so far and getting some good rest and joy as well. xoxo



The Creative Gene

I love creativity! The problem is that I don't have it. At times though, I think I do. So do I really have it and I just have to find a way to unleash it and stop suppressing my doubt? Or do I unfortunately not have it and am just dreaming that I do? I know I sound somewhat crazy but I can't be the only one that thinks and feels this way?

I took art in high school and loved it. And not to toot my own horn (but as Christy says, toot toot), but I was actually good at it. My mom had several items framed and to this day, I still have some of those drawings hanging on the walls in our home. After high school, I bought a new sketchbook to hold onto in case the urge to draw ever came my way. And it did, a few times, but it was nothing more than a pencil or charcoal sketch before I closed the book for another year. Sadly, I haven't even attempted to draw for several years now. My mind consistently flutters with thoughts to get creative with drawing and painting. Just go buy some stuff and try again. And then I tell myself that I won't be good at it anymore and who am I kidding, I don't have the time!

I mentioned in a recent post that I love writing and journaling. I've journaled all my life and I'm so glad I started blogging recently. It is allowing me to release some of the thoughts in my head on a daily basis. I don't know if you would call it creative but it suits my definition and urge for creativity so I'm good with that.

I also love looking at arts and crafts that others have done and I so wish I could do them! Or maybe I wish I could think of things like that. In my mind, our future home is an escape into all that is creative! We have canvases on the walls that I've painted. We have frames filled with photographs that I've taken or have been taken of us and our friends and family. We have words and scriptures and lyrics plastered on the different pieces of decor throughout the house. Even though we do live in an apartment for the time being, I am getting to do a little bit of this. Even just a few fun pillows and frames and candles have helped tremendously. In my mind though, there is SO much more that can be done. Patience.

Hogan is very creative. Not in the exact sense I'm talking about for myself. But he's funny, witty, imaginative, great with technology and pictures and videos, has great ideas, etc etc. And I feel like he uses his talents very well in his life. I'm an accountant, nuff said. I wonder if that's why I can't get my creativity out? (partly joking, but now thinking more about this concept. hmmmm....)

My mom is also very creative in the interior decorating way. She is the one who has decorated all of my apartments since leaving home for college. I still use her. She came down for my birthday and helped me purchase a fun painting and vase for our living room. She's great and I so wish I had some of her ideas.

My sister is very creative as well. All throughout college, I can remember her and her roomates painting lyrics and pictures on huge canvases to use in their dorm and apartments. She can always find something fun and creative to use in her place.

How did I not get these genes? Lol.

I'm certainly not one to be dissatisfied. I guess I'm just wondering if maybe there is potential and hope for me in the creative sense. Or perhaps it's just something that if you have, you do it and in that case I'm guessing I don't truely have it. Maybe it just requires more time. Time to think, time to shop, time to draw, time to take classes...I don't know. But it is something that's been on my mind lately. I think I may still have a sketchbook at home. Perhaps I'll take it out soon and just try again. Baby steps. I guess I'll never know just sitting here writing about it   :)

Living out the Lyrics

I love music but I especially love lyrics. A good lyric can really connect in your soul. A few years ago I stopped listening to bad lyrics. The beat may be good but you can't help but sing and I was convicted by hearing myself sing some of the words coming over the radio. The lyric may have nothing to do with my life but I was speaking those words and thus in a way supporting them. Now don't get me wrong, I still do have a few songs on my running playlist that I'm not that proud of and I do listen to the songs in some of the workout classes, but for the most part, I've tried to rid them from my ears.

I've also realized though that even good lyrics can convict me if I'm not living those lyrics out. This is mostly seen in worship songs. I was reminded of this last night at church. We were singing one of my most favorite worship songs, "In Your Freedom," by Hillsong United and in that song, the lyrics say over and over, "I offer devotion, I offer devotion." I worship with all my heart and with my hands lifted high, I was lifting these words to heaven. But then it gets me thinking...what is devotion? do I really offer that? NOW I preface all this to say that none of us are perfect. And just because we may not live out these lyrics fully, the Lord knows our heart and as long as we yearn to live it out and allow the Lord to lead us on that path, then we are in a good place. But I think it's good to re-assess at times if you are living out the lyrics you're singing. And if you aren't, then pray. Ask God to help you live them out. Ask him to do a work on the inside of you that causes you to live them out. And certainly don't stop singing them or worshiping to him because maybe you aren't living them out. Worship is one of the best ways to get there.

About 2 years ago, I was singing this exact same song and it says in another part, "...I love You Lord, You rescued me. You are all that I want. You're all I need." Same situation - are you really all I want Lord? Could I really do without everything else as long as I have you? I realized this probably wasn't the case at the time. Sure I loved the Lord with all my heart but could I really be fine without all the other blessings - a husband, a new job, etc? Well I went into a season of devotion. I spent time with the Lord every day, I fasted, I prayed, I fell in love with the Lord, I asked him to help me live out those lyrics...and He did. He brought me to the point where I really was satisfied with Him alone. And I still am. Obvioulsy he's blessed me tremendously since then but those blessings came out of a heart that was satisfied with Him alone.

On a lighter note and speaking of good lyrics, go check out our friends' band, Bide My Time. You can get their lyrics on facebook (http://www.facebook.com/#!/bidemytimeband?sk=notes) and get their EP on iTunes for really cheap! They also have their own website (http://www.bidemytime.com/Bide_My_Time/Bide_My_Time.html). They are awesome and our good friends and I know you'll enjoy them so go check them out if you haven't already! And if you like them (which I know you will), spread the word :)