I love creativity! The problem is that I don't have it. At times though, I think I do. So do I really have it and I just have to find a way to unleash it and stop suppressing my doubt? Or do I unfortunately not have it and am just dreaming that I do? I know I sound somewhat crazy but I can't be the only one that thinks and feels this way?
I took art in high school and loved it. And not to toot my own horn (but as Christy says, toot toot), but I was actually good at it. My mom had several items framed and to this day, I still have some of those drawings hanging on the walls in our home. After high school, I bought a new sketchbook to hold onto in case the urge to draw ever came my way. And it did, a few times, but it was nothing more than a pencil or charcoal sketch before I closed the book for another year. Sadly, I haven't even attempted to draw for several years now. My mind consistently flutters with thoughts to get creative with drawing and painting. Just go buy some stuff and try again. And then I tell myself that I won't be good at it anymore and who am I kidding, I don't have the time!
I mentioned in a recent post that I love writing and journaling. I've journaled all my life and I'm so glad I started blogging recently. It is allowing me to release some of the thoughts in my head on a daily basis. I don't know if you would call it creative but it suits my definition and urge for creativity so I'm good with that.
I also love looking at arts and crafts that others have done and I so wish I could do them! Or maybe I wish I could think of things like that. In my mind, our future home is an escape into all that is creative! We have canvases on the walls that I've painted. We have frames filled with photographs that I've taken or have been taken of us and our friends and family. We have words and scriptures and lyrics plastered on the different pieces of decor throughout the house. Even though we do live in an apartment for the time being, I am getting to do a little bit of this. Even just a few fun pillows and frames and candles have helped tremendously. In my mind though, there is SO much more that can be done. Patience.
Hogan is very creative. Not in the exact sense I'm talking about for myself. But he's funny, witty, imaginative, great with technology and pictures and videos, has great ideas, etc etc. And I feel like he uses his talents very well in his life. I'm an accountant, nuff said. I wonder if that's why I can't get my creativity out? (partly joking, but now thinking more about this concept. hmmmm....)
My mom is also very creative in the interior decorating way. She is the one who has decorated all of my apartments since leaving home for college. I still use her. She came down for my birthday and helped me purchase a fun painting and vase for our living room. She's great and I so wish I had some of her ideas.
My sister is very creative as well. All throughout college, I can remember her and her roomates painting lyrics and pictures on huge canvases to use in their dorm and apartments. She can always find something fun and creative to use in her place.
How did I not get these genes? Lol.
I'm certainly not one to be dissatisfied. I guess I'm just wondering if maybe there is potential and hope for me in the creative sense. Or perhaps it's just something that if you have, you do it and in that case I'm guessing I don't truely have it. Maybe it just requires more time. Time to think, time to shop, time to draw, time to take classes...I don't know. But it is something that's been on my mind lately. I think I may still have a sketchbook at home. Perhaps I'll take it out soon and just try again. Baby steps. I guess I'll never know just sitting here writing about it :)
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