Second Time Around

I have a 2 1/2 year old (Wyatt) and while on maternity leave with him, I discovered that motherhood is tough. I mean really tough. You see everyone gushing and smiling and in awe over their newborns on social media (and don't get me wrong, I do it too now) so surely it was going to be the best thing ever! And it is but I didn't know how hard it would be. Where are all the posts on that people? And Wyatt was a relatively easy baby (I think). Well obviously I got through those really tough newborn weeks and 2 1/2 years later, we had our second boy. When we found out we were blessed with bringing another little one into this world, I just knew it'd be easier this time around. I knew what to expect right? I knew it would be hard at times, but overall, it'd be easier, right? I thought I knew better how to handle it all. How not to let myself get overwhelmed. This time there would be no tears if I didn't get a shower all day. There would be no tears if Mason just wanted to be held all day.

WRONG.

Mason Nurmi Hartzog entered this world on September 16, 2014. This time around, my labor and delivery was awesome. I am so grateful for that. After delivery, I was that crazy annoying woman who actually said, "That was so much fun." Completely different than my labor story with Wyatt which I do not want to relive...ever.

Completely different labor story and now as we are 1 month into this, completely different baby and experience altogether...which does not equal easier.  

The first couple weeks were hard but it was more related to Wyatt's adjustment and nursing issues I experienced. I like to think that it was the Lord telling me that I still needed him, that I didn't have this on my own even if it was my 2nd child. And boy did I ever. I needed Jesus on a daily basis. I needed encouragement. I needed hope. I needed support. Those trials for the most part have now gone away but after that first week or so, newborns wake up. and now we have a fussy/gassy infant who really isn't a fan of sleeping for long periods of time. He isn't a fan of the bouncer or swings or laying on his back. He is ok on his tummy but pediatricians tell you that you CAN'T put a baby on it's tummy to sleep. He likes to be held but some parenting books tell you that you CAN'T hold a baby nonstop. They need to fall asleep on their own, blah blah blah. Not only is having a newborn exhausting but it's even more exhausting to listen/read a million differing views on how to raise your child. I had to stop reading all that stuff. I was going insane.

There are plenty of tears from me and him on a daily basis. There are good days and then there are days when I really don't think I can do this. It's not fun on those days (to put it lightly). To put it not so lightly, it's absolutely miserable. And I try really hard not to feel terrible for wanting this stage to pass. What I've realized so far though is that ENCOURAGEMENT FROM OTHERS is an absolute necessity. From the Lord (His word), from my husband (who is an absolute rock for me), from friends and family, and even from posts on baby sites where other mothers write about their hard times. If I don't get this encouragement, I will give up because I've realized I really can't do this on my own. And I have to tell myself that I'm not the only one who goes through this. Granted, there are some "perfect" babies out there, but there are so many more that struggle with one thing after another. And honestly, I think I wanted to write all this down so that one, I don't forget, but more importantly, that maybe it can encourage other mamas out there who possibly only hear how wonderful everyone's babies are and how they are sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old - I mean really? No one wants to see you post that, especially not a struggling mama. 

Here are two verses that I've been clinging to over these past few weeks: 

Romans 12:12 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." 

Lamentations 3:22-23 

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies) never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

One day at a time. If it was a good one, I thank the Lord, enjoy it, and press on. If it was a bad one, it's now over. A new day begins and His compassions are new every morning and I press on. And before I know it, I'll look back at this post and laugh (hopefully) because my child is now a pleasant human being, ha ha. And hopefully you will be able to laugh at your struggles too. But in the meantime, YOU got this. Make sure you get the encouragement you need and press on. 

It's an amazing journey and I'm so glad that I have my God, my faith, and encouragement from others to carry me through it. And I totally am in love with my precious Mason even through all the hard stuff.