GOOOOOAAL!!!

WHAT an emotional week it's been with soccer. It's been busy and I am mentally exhausted, yet spiritually renewed at the same time.

We started off on Monday playing Ramsay High School, a team that should have been close to our playing level. At halftime it was 2-0. By the middle of the second half though, they had "mercy-ruled" us (10-0) - the game ends when they do that if you haven't scored a goal yet. I will admit I sat there on the bench in the second half feeling hopeless, asking the question to Hogan, to God, to myself..."How do I do this? How do I coach a team like this? What am I doing?"

I'm pretty sure I've asked these questions before and had this feeling before but I think I had my expectations up for this game and when they didn't happen, I fell hard. I KNOW I'm there for other reasons besides soccer - soccer is just the means. I KNOW I'm providing something for these kids to do. I KNOW I'm teaching them life lessons and being a role model for them. I KNOW God is doing so much that I don't even know he's doing. But in the thick of coaching in that game, it's incredibly hard to see and believe that. At that moment, I see it that if soccer doesn't keep going at this school, I lose these kids, and it has to be hard for these kids to keep going when you are getting killed every game.

With the blessing of encouragement from others though (Hogan and Christy), I got out of this funk. On my way to work Tuesday I actually found myself repenting in the car on the way to work. I remembered that I had prayed for God to build this team. To put the boys he wanted on this team. It was HIS team. And in the midst of losing, I doubted him because I was wanting more - more depth, better players, etc. But thankfully, he showed me this again and I repented and our God is faithful and forgave me and with no makeup left on my eyes, I went into work for the day :)

Now Tuesday night we had another game. The only thing different going into this game was my expectations - I knew we would get mercy-ruled by Pinson Valley. And we did but I was in a completely different spirit that night. I encouraged the guys and had them make individual goals for themselves during the game and they did a lot of great things! They didn't give up (which is the only thing I asked of them) and I was so proud of them. I realized too after this game how important my own attitude is when I'm coaching. I HAVE to encourage them. I HAVE to speak life to them. I think that's how we keep this going. Whether we win or lose, I have to keep them encouraged.

And finally on Thursday we had our 3rd and last game of the week. We played Parkway Christian who we had just played a week ago and gotten beat 7-0. I gave them a little incentive before the game thanks to advice from my mom - food if they score and food if they win. And......we scored first!! The boys fought hard and while we ended up losing, we only lost 2-1 and it was a very exciting game for them. So we got our first goal of the season and they get pizza at practice on Tuesday.

I'm a firm believer in "it's gonna be worth it." Whatever you are doing for the Lord, it's gonna be worth it. You may see results here on earth, you may not. But you were called to do what the Lord has you doing and he is faithful and he will not forsake us. And whatever you are doing for the Lord does matter. It may be small in your eyes or it may be big. But it's gonna be worth it.

Turning 27

I feel like I've been turning 27 for the past couple of weeks but I officially turned it this past Saturday. I am officially in my late-twenties. And I love 27 already. Now I joked a ton about not wanting to turn older - I think it's instinct to do so. But I really love birthdays - others even more than mine but mine too! It's a celebration of life. I love thinking back over the past year and dreaming big for the upcoming year. I have lived another year and I am grateful for that. So here are some of the blessings from my amazing family and friends this 27th birthday...

A couple of weekends ago, Hogan took me to Ross Bridge and we had such a fun overnight trip (this was an early bday present). I would recommend a "stay-cation" at Ross Bridge to everyone. You won't regret it. This was my third. They don't disappoint.

My mom came in town the weekend before my birthday and we had a great mother-daughter shopping and lunch date - partly for my birthday but mostly just because we love each other and were craving time together. This pic is not from our date but I wanted to show everyone my beautiful mom.

At work on Friday, my sweet co-worker Shawn brought me Dove chocolate, sesame sticks from Whole Foods, and a birthday card. Hogan came up to my work and brought me some beautiful pink and yellow tulips and a new Pandora bracelet and soccer ball charm. AND all my co-workers (Shawn, Beth, and Stacey) took me out to lunch at Urban Standard - complete with a white on white cupcake! Yum!

Friday night, Hogan surprised me with a dinner for me and my girlfriends at Chuy's at The Summit. I absolutely love spending time with my friends and am so grateful for a husband that not only respects that but encourages it and sets it up for me!! My friends put a ton of work into it too (and blessed me not only with their time but with wonderful gifts) and I love them for how they love me so much.

Racel, Christy, Liz, Jen, Rona, and Me

Dreamcakes cupcakes courtsey of Liz!

My birthday balloons!

And then finally my birthday came on Saturday! Hogan and I went to breakfast at the Embassy Suites buffet and came back and crashed on the couch for the afternoon. This was a gift that I NEVER give myself - rest. So it felt pretty darn good to do that. We then got ready that night and went out to eat at the Tavern on the Summit - we love their food but my heart was set on the Brownie Ice Cream dessert there. As Hogan says, "It's the best brownie in town."

I even still get to continue celebrating this next weekend when my dad and stepmom come down from Madison to have lunch with us. Very excited to see them.

I got so many calls and texts and of course facebook posts from people telling me Happy Birthday and I loved them all and am so grateful for them all. A lot of people don't like people telling you Happy Birthday over facebook but I really don't mind. None of those people had to tell me anything yet they did. It was a fantastic birthday!

Thank you Lord for 27 years. And here's to another one!

Commitment

I fasted on March 14th. It was just a day I chose at random (thank you Chris Wolfe for the idea). It was a beautiful day and during lunch I went walking around Highland park (I work very close) and read my bible. I came upon a verse that I've read before but is beginning to really penetrate into my heart and mind lately. The verse is Acts 17:26-28.

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and PERHAPS reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.

Perhaps?!? God didn't have our committment before he made everything. He didn't have our committment before he sent his son Jesus to earth to die for us. He did it out of love and hope. But he took a huge chance! And there are SO many people that still haven't reached out for him and found him. I can't imagine how his heart is breaking for those. I mean he has to so badly want them to commit to him! I mean how could they not? How could I not earlier in my years? Couldn't I see the love that was poured out for me?!


So fast forward to last weekend and I found myself in a similar situation. Well, not similar in the magnitude of it, but you know what I mean. See, this past weekend I went out walking and worshipping (with my Ipod) and my mind started racing. I started thinking about the soccer team. How we don't have a very good commitment from the boys. Some days we have 12, some days we have 2, some days they focus, most days they don't. What could I do to get them to come more? What could I do to get them to realize what a privilege it is for them to be on the team and to have all the stuff we've given them for free. Would punishment (like running) work? Would taking away games work? Well, I left my mind on the trail and let it go for the rest of the weekend.


And then Monday morning, I was taking a shower (yes, that's right) and the Lord spoke to me. And just to clarify, when the Lord speaks to me, it's just a thought in my mind...I've never heard his resounding voice. That would definitely help with the doubt and second guessing of my thoughts. But anyways, he said to me, "What makes you think you have to make them commit? I didn't wait until you committed to me before I died on the cross." Yep, hit me pretty hard. And I was reminded of the verse I had read during my fast.


God created me out of love. Jesus died for me out of love. I have to live my life out of love - not out of what the end result might be or the success I might have with what I'm doing or any of that. I'd been thinking of ways to get them to commit like 'If less than half the team comes to practice, I will cancel the next game. Or we will run the next practice.' But is that really how you make someone commit? I know these boys need discipline and tough love but is that the way to do it?


What if Jesus was like that. What if I didn't commit to him the first time I learned about him, he punished me. Now I know we put punishment on ourselves through our own sinful ways but Jesus doesn't do that to us - we do it to ourselves.


Everything isn't clear but I'm constantly asking for wisdom and guidance in prayer. And right now I have a peace and a passion of just doing it. Of just going like the Lord needs me to go and coaching the ones that show up and having fun and loving on them no matter if there are 2 or 10 there. I don't think my job is to make them commit. My job is to love them regardless. To keep showing up. To keep serving. To not give up. My job is to love them like Christ loves us. 

And ps, this is just one of the pictures my sister took on the beach at sunset in the Gulf during our wedding weekend. It's incredible. God is incredible. And my sister's work on this pic isn't half bad either ;) 

A Few Favorite Snapshots

I've had a lot of downtime over the past couple days which has been so nice. Hogan got his wisdom teeth taken out on Thursday afternoon so we've both been chillin since then. The surgery went great and his recovery is going great too. He hates the dentist and they always find something wrong when he goes so to have a smooth surgery and recovery has been a huge blessing!

In my downtime, I decided I needed to post some more pictures on my blog.  It definitely is lacking pictures. Pictures make the story of our lives so much more beautiful and vivid. I love taking them. I love looking back at them. I love pictures of others. I love pictures of smiles and laughter. I love taking pictures while driving (it may not be safe but that sunset isn't going to last until you pull over!) So here are a few of my favorite snapshots of my life over the past few months. And I promise I'll try to post more as I continue to blog. Enjoy!

This is Molly. She is 90lbs and she loves to sit on this seat out of all the space in Hogan's big SUV. 

This is the beautiful town of Breckinridge, CO. We were here on vacation with my family for Christmas this past year. Absolutely breathtaking. 

Me and my beautiful sister at the salon on my wedding day. 

Our intimate beach wedding. 

First Dance. Love him. 

Finishing the New Orleans Half Marathon in February. I raised $1698 for DetermiNation to fight cancer. 

Me and Hogan at Ross Bridge. We went here last weekend for a little "stay"cation! 

That's all for now! 

Breathless

So I love following Pastor Steven Furtick's blog and I always get something out of it but today's blog was a huge encouragement to me! It hit home in a huge way. His blog posts are very easy to read and to the point and life-changing! I really encourage you to take like 2 minutes and read it!

Here's the link to it: http://www.stevenfurtick.com/personal-development/high-mountains-and-low-valleys/

He talks about how high mountains (success) can be just as challenging as low valleys (difficult, almost depressing times) in our life. He says, "The times of success in your life and the times when God is blessing you can be just as challenging as the times in the valley. Just in a different way, because now you’re going uphill." He goes on to say, "The goal of life isn’t to make it to a point where we can breathe easy. It’s to get to heaven breathless." 

You can read the entire blog (please do, it's amazing!) but I wanted to share why this resonated so deeply within me.

God has blessed me tremendously throughout my life but the favor since this past year (2010) on my life has been more clear than ever before. But through all the blessing, I guess I thought life would get a little easier. I know, crazy right? ;) For example, with Woodlawn soccer this season I was blessed financially in a huge way - more than I could have dreamed of. I knew season would have its ups and downs again but with all the money, we were going to be able to buy these kids all the soccer gear they needed plus so much more. But with that blessing came responsibility. And I found myself at times thinking, why is this so hard? I prayed and prayed for God to give me wisdom in how to use the money and I'm trusting I used it the way he wanted me to, but wow, I would never have imagined it to be that hard. And the same with coaching. While I know the Lord is moving and we've made huge steps from last year, this season feels almost harder! With marriage, you wait years longing to be married thinking life will be easier when there are two of you doing it together. Marriage is a blessing but once again, with it comes responsibility, and I feel like the enemy's attacks on me are way more than when I was single.

You see, when you are building something for the glory of God, the enemy is going to do everything he can to ruin it. So it makes sense. Why wouldn't it be harder when you are climbing versus standing?

I love my life but I long for that day when I will collapse into Jesus's arms and rest, breathless from climbing mountains during my time here on earth. And then...I can breathe easy :)

With Everything

This past Tuesday night, Hogan and I, along with a bunch of our friends, went to the Hillsong United concert at the BJCC here in Birmingham. For those that don't know or listen to Hillsong United or Hillsong, check them out now!! They are an amazing band from Australia that worships Jesus with everything they have. We sing their songs in church ALL the time but what an incredible experience to worship with them live along with thousands of others in our city.

It was an incredible night to say the least. At one point during worship, I nudged Hogan to take a picture real quick of the crowd. I posted it above but even this doesn't do it justice. At the point just before this picture, every hand was raised in the air to our Lord. What a sight.

I had one of those, "I can't believe this is me living this life" moments in the middle of worship. I looked at myself, screaming my lungs out in worship to Jesus with both arms lifted as high as they would go to him. I stood in awe just thinking about where Jesus has brought me from and how incredible he's made my life today. I was never in a terrible place in my life. But I didn't truly know him; I didn't live for him; I didn't have the joy and freedom that only HE offers when you surrender your life to him completely and let go of what the world offers. And so I realize now that that was indeed a terrible time in my life because of what I was missing out on. My heart breaks for those that are missing out on that. It breaks even more for those that don't know it's out there. The ones that live a mediocre, average life thinking that is as good as it gets. They don't know the joy and peace and life they are missing out on that Jesus so wants to give them if they will let go of their own desires and let go of what the world is saying to do and follow him wholeheartedly. It's an amazing life and it was so incredible to be reminded of it in such a powerful way Tuesday night.

These are some lyrics from a song we sang - "With Everything." At one point, there were no instruments playing. Just the crowd singing. I know that darkness fled from our city and our hearts that night as we gave everything we had to our Savior in worship.

"Let hope rise And darkness tremble In Your holy light...

With everything With everything
We will shout for Your glory
With everything With everything
We will shout forth Your praise

Our hearts they cry
Be glorified
Be lifted high above all names
For You our King
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise."

Like the Australians say, "Amen?...Amen." :)

Power of Prayer

A good friend shared with me …

Intercessory prayer can penetrate the hearts of those we cannot open and shield those we cannot guard and teach where we cannot speak and comfort where our hearts have not power to soothe.

Prayer, with its unseen hand, can enter, where we may not.

I pray all the time. But sometimes I forget the power of prayer. I get caught up in "doing" things for His kingdom more than praying for it. I start to get anxious about trying to make things happen. I start to worry if I've done enough in the situation. I make it way harder than it is and I put the burden on myself that I wasn't meant to carry.

Nothing is more powerful than prayer. It's relationship with the one who is in control - the one who has the power to change hearts and situations. Jesus, help me to remember to pray first and to pray often. Help me to cast my cares on you (1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22). Help me to remember that you and you alone have the power to change things. It's not in my power but yours.